The Scar That Reshaped My Life

The Scar That Reshaped My Life

I read something recently and it was the story of Michael Jackson and the making of Thriller and in that story the writer said Michael never realized that Thriller was a phenomenon, that it being the number one selling album of all time was phenomenon and that what happened after that album came out, was a phenomenon; having people doing the moon walk all over the world! He added that Michael spent his entire life chasing the phenomenon and therefore was never really satisfied as he felt the pressure to exceed the phenomenon that he has to do it again, without coming to peace with the fact that what has happened to him was incredibly mind blowing however some great things have to come to an end in order for new and better chances. He needed to close Thriller’s chapter and then go on to the next and let it be whatever it will be, hello Obama?! This awakened me that sometimes we try to over-do the best or great moments we have achieved or keep on trying to relive them instead of letting them go to be wonderful memories and letting ourselves create other memorable moments in their own rightful scale, no comparisons! No regrets! No similarities!

Isn’t it interesting that we sometimes battle with letting go of love especially when the other party ends it abruptly? I do not know about you but, I have had the luxury of dating my dream man. To date, I still think of him as my sweetheart, the love of my life and my first love. Honestly speaking, he was everything any girl could ever dream of, the perfect package! Alawiye, was 6’6” tall making him taller than the average man, his skin tone had a unique dark chocolate tan and needn’t I say, he was very handsome! He was also a well groomed man who understood fashion trends and style that made his ensemble of attire from well fitted Italian suits to his agbada (traditional Nigerian wear).To add unto that his scents varied from Tom Ford’s Black Orchid to Versace’s Dylan Blue without forgetting his car collection that was designed for a bad boy who knew how to live life!

I was particularly impressed by the fact that he understood my needs as a woman and complemented me so well. He catered for everything I ever needed or could ever need and ensured I lacked nothing. I was his woman his everything, from the bags, shoes, clothes to Brazilian hair! He ensured other women envied me since I got the preferential treatment meant for a queen. He was my Thriller! We were relationship goals and a synonym to the words happy and love!!!Little did I know that the end of us would be something so devastating and traumatizing that actually had me pronounced with clinical depression; a state of terrible absence of hope, and no my friends, I was not sad. I was depressed! Did you know that depression actually exists and it is triggered by various occurrences in our lives, be it our work, relationships or even the lack of sleep! However, being depressed does not mean you are mad, and luckily by seeking help it can be cured. In my opinion, the cure that best fits it is the acceptance of the situation and letting go.

23rd January 2014; 20:00hrs; East African Time (EAT), Nairobi Kenya! I vividly remember this day as if it were yesterday. I ran out of the pharmacy where I had a strip pregnancy test with excitement knowing that we, my lover and love finally bared a fruit! I was pregnant and I was overwhelmed with joy which was an impressive calling card that we were going to be a family! My friends, a FAMILY! I an orphan girl, from the hilly village of Budalangi’ Busia County who had lost both parents and siblings at a very early age was excited by this thought. Having a family to me was everything, it was my life, it was all I longed for, it was in me and I was in it. I knew for a fact that I wanted a happy home that will make up for the loss I encountered due to the absence of my own family.

Luckily for me, the universe aligned with the desires of my heart and I was going to have unconditional love from my child, and my baby daddy who basically was my husband to be! The reaction I got after I shared the news with him was heart-breaking, “Daisy, we cannot keep this pregnancy, not now, can you please do something about it? I love you but let us focus and enjoy life ,a child will spoil all the fun, come on baby, do it for me, for us, iyawo mi (my wife) please? I knew exactly what my beloved handsome dream man was asking of me without him having the courage to mention the word.

Abortion: the conventionally or medically termination of a pregnancy before viability either spontaneously or through induction. Statistically speaking more than 500,000 women procure an abortion yearly in Kenya whereas over 22 million worldwide with some of this figure being adolescents (African Population and Health Research Center: APHRC).

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4 comments on “The Scar That Reshaped My Life”

  1. Adhiambo Kodhiambo

    As always this is authentic. The funny thing is that in most instances an ambition ends a relationship that you’re trying to ‘save’.

  2. Ciselyne

    Most girls go through this. Speak out for the voiceless….. Impressive I must say

  3. Alicia James

    Hmmmmm.. A very sensitive story, good job mami

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