Eniola Ake Asks, What Happens After The Proposal?
Staring down at the diamond ring on your finger, what comes next to mind is planning for a beautiful wedding ceremony. In the midst of planning for the best DJ to serenade the guests with music to the proper master of ceremony to make them laugh, most newly engaged couples miss the most vital and necessary details that makes a beautiful marriage (pay attention, I said marriage, not wedding).
Statistics have shown that couples invest a lot of money and time towards planning and preparing for their wedding while they forget to invest equal or some percentage in planning for “after the wedding”. The best time to start working on the marriage (which starts immediately after the wedding) is right before the proposal. That is what determines whether you accept his ring or propose to her in the first place. Your life will become easier when you do not rush at the same time you follow the inner guide from within which is a divine gift. After the proposal is not too late as a broken proposal is better than a problematic marriage.
Is life with him/her what you want?
To answer this question correctly, you must go down memory lane and assess your true values. What values shaped you into the adult that you are now? Is it family? If family means everything to you and you hope to build one with your partner? Does he or she have the potential to build with you? Does he appear ready to be a husband and father? To answer that, you may want to take a look at the father figure in his life. Does that father figure have the traits of a father? What examples does he show? Is your partner teachable and mature enough to pick the right examples and discard the wrong ones?
What is your reason for accepting him or choosing her?
There is a reason you choose to spend the rest of your life with someone. For example, do they make you better? Do they push you to become what you want? Intentions mean a lot when it comes to choosing who you want to spend your life with. What is your true intention for choosing him or her?
Do not to take every advice
Individual’s experience with marriage is different hence people have generated different meanings that are unique to them for marriage. Some are good while others are discouraging. Also, people have attached many meanings to marriage and different untrue beliefs have been derived which has shaped people’s definition of marriage. At the stage when you have decided who to spend the rest of your life with, it is only wise to not take in every information, advice or counsel that is sent your way. The reason being that, you are presented with a clean slate and you can decide to put in the work required to make it beautiful for you. You can learn from people’s mistakes and errors especially those that come across with the intention that you do not repeat them. However, it is important to sieve, weigh and choose the definition of marriage you attach to yours.
Eniola Ake is the Author of “the Road to I Do” Book which is currently being sold in five major bookshops in Lagos Nigeria including Terra Kulture, Unilag Bookshop, Glendora Bookshop Murtala Mohammed International Airport Branch, JED Megastores inside The Palms Shopping Mall Lekki Lagos and Patabah Bookshop Adeniran Ogunsanya Shopping Mall Surulere. She coaches and helps singles to connect with, court and keep the right partner. You can reach her via email- firstname.lastname@example.org, Instagram- Eniola Ake