An Unserious Guide For Using Your Candy Crush Skills In Your Dating Life.

An Unserious Guide For Using Your Candy Crush Skills In Your Dating Life.


I've spent 2 years of my life on this game...

I’ve spent 2 years of my life on this game…

Candy Crush-an incredible waste of time, or a way of harnessing your previously undiscovered talent and skills?

This is the ultimate life question.

Candy Crush  is a very popular and successful mobile game which has become a global phenomenon. I discovered Candy Crush for the first time in 2014 after my first dental surgery. I was looking for a game to distract myself from the pain and stumbled on it by chance in the Apple App store. I was lured into downloading the game by its bright colours and its apparent simplicity (matching 3 colours of ‘candies’).

I have met people whose eyes light up when I ask the question, ‘do you play Candy Crush?’.  When I meet such people, we hug, exchange smiles and share our tales of Candy Crush victories and losses.

I have also met those people who look at me with a mix of disdain and pity when I ask them the same question.

(Enemies of progress).

If you have found yourself under the spell of Candy Crush and you are wondering what value it has added to your life, do not fret! You have unwittingly honed some skills during the course of playing this game, and you now have a chance to put them into good use, especially if you recently started a romantic relationship.

Your new beau might be wary when they see you sitting down, with your eyes fixed on your phone, as you swipe the screen maniacally from left to right. It is up to you to put their minds at ease by sharing your Candy Crush skills with them.

Here are 3 skills which you have developed while playing Candy Crush that are useful in your dating life:


Skill 1: Dedication.

Contrary to what ‘bad belle’ people will tell you, Candy Crush is not an exercise in futility. Look into your loved ones eyes, and tell him or her how many months or years that you have spent playing Candy Crush.

This shows how dedicated you are in pursuing your life goals. This also demonstrates that you will be a great boyfriend or girlfriend who is not easily distracted by mundane things.

Do not forget to remind your loved one about the famous Nelson Mandela quote: ‘It always seems impossible until it is done’.

True, Nelson Mandela was not talking about Candy Crush, and your partner might ask you if you are alright, but ignore all that. Let them know about the challenging levels which you have faced in Candy Crush which initially seemed impossible to overcome, and how you overcame them and emerged a winner.





Skill 2: Patience.

Each ‘life’ in the Candy Crush game takes 30 minutes to load. Since there are 5 ‘lives’ in total, it means that you have to wait for about 2 and a half hours to have a full set of lives.

Do you know what this means?

It means that you are a patient soul.

Your significant other can be assured of having a partner who is tolerant of their faults, and slow to abrupt outbursts of anger.


Skill 3: Ability To Manage Scarce Resources.

I am very aware of the fact that Candy Crush is a high revenue earner, making money from its in-app purchases.

However, if you are like me and have never spent a Dime/Penny/Kobo for this purpose, then this skill applies to you.

Tell your loved one that you are the ultimate boyfriend/girlfriend material because you know how to manage scarce resources. In these hard times of recession and Dollar scarcity, this would demonstrate that you have priorities and that you are thinking about long-term goals, rather than fulfilling immediate desires.



If listing the above skills doesn’t make your significant other run straight into your arms and profess their unending love for you, well…I really don’t know what else to tell you.

You might just have to re-evaluate your life choices by deleting the Candy Crush app from your phone, and becoming more focused on building your relationship.

Or simply break up with the person. He or she obviously doesn’t support your dream of becoming the World Champion of Candy Crush.

The choice is yours.


Written by

© Ivie M. Eke 2016



About Author: Ivie

Ivie writes short stories, essays and poetry on her blog, She is also the author of the Ebook, ‘Looking for myself and my phone charger’, which is available on Okada books.

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