An Exposé On Love Or Money
Which would you pick love and its euphoria or money and it’s sweet trappings?
In an ideal world both love and money should exist side by side. We shouldn’t have to pick one over the other. However in a world where everything has been turned upside down, the distinction between love and money has been blurred. There now seems to be no existence of love without money and vice versa.
In a bid to gain a better understanding, I asked five individuals ranging in ages (22-32) (made up of three women and two men) two questions which forced them to choose either love or money.
Would you rather be in a wealthy marriage with no love or a marriage with love but no money?
Three out of the five chose the marriage with love but no money, citing how love was all that was needed. Their rationale was as long as there was love, everything else would fall into place. To this group of hopeless romantics, being in love is all that matters. Love makes everything alright. Whilst the other two chose the wealthy marriage with no love, their argument was money can buy everything. These are the materialistic individuals who value worldly possessions over emotions. This group of people like to be called realist who know how to separate themselves from their emotions.
Two of the three individuals that chose love were the two men in the group. This shows that although emotions such as love are mainly attributed to women in certain circumstances women are able to disconnect themselves from such feelings when the need arises. This debunks one theory of women being led by their emotions in every situation.
To have a clearer reason, they were asked to state the reasons for their choice. The reasons given by the three who chose love were similar in nature. They said love should be the foundation of every union. According to them if there was no love such a marriage would fail regardless of wealth or status. The two women who choose money disagreed, stating that life without money is really no life at all. A marriage without money and just love would become bitter and can also come to a dreadful and bitter end. One went further by stating that, ‘Love in a perfect world should take precedent but in the harsh reality of times being practical is much needed’.
Both sides had valid points but I was still not satisfied with the reasons given. So I asked another question.
The five were asked if in a non-romantic relationship they would choose money or the chance to spread love. For instance, if you approached by someone for a loan would you show love to the person by borrowing them the money? Or would you hold on to your money?
Four out of the five chose to hold on to their money. The only person who chose to borrow also did so with a condition. She said such a person would have to give her valid reasons as to what he needed the money for and other means tried to raise the money in question? This she said was because ‘money is not easy to come by and the economy is not in a good shape. Money cannot just be freely given away no matter how much one wants to help someone else’.
Turning to the four who choose money over love, I asked why they would choose not to assist when they had the power to. One of the former pro love advocate replied saying ‘one cannot help another blindly in the present economy. Do you even know what the exchange rate is saying? Or what the price of milk is in the market? Let us not even talk about the insane increase in NEPA bills across country. She concluded by saying “The fact that I believe in love doesn’t mean I don’t know the usefulness of money. Biko, I cannot waste my money oh”.
From the above answers, it is clear that in certain situations love took precedent to money and vice versa, depending on the relationships and circumstances.
Mini Sessions With The Kids
Next I had a mini session with children between the ages of 4-12, and I asked who their favourite parent was and why. Most choose their mother over their father for different reasons. However, the common factor was because of the love and affection shown to them by their mothers. The fact that mothers are attentive, ensure you are happy and are very compassionate.
Although most mothers are not as financially stable as the fathers, children still feel most content with them. To these children emotional affection such as love outweighed material things such as money.
Then I asked these children what they wanted to be when they are older. A few said they wanted to be businessmen and women, one or two said they wanted to be the president of Nigeria, a few wanted to be lawyers, doctors and bankers. When asked why? The majority answered they wanted to have money and be rich just like their fathers. Even these children could not deny the fact that both love and money are equally important.
Conclusion, Is It Love Or Money?
I have thought hard and long about it and still I am unable to pick one or the other. Love or money or the desire of it are intrinsic in life, one cannot be separated from the other. You cannot have one without the other. It is simply impossible to take love and leave money or to leave love and take money.
With money comes fame and power. Most humans crave power and the thought of being worshipped by others. Being placed on a high pedestal, able to do and undo things. It was this same hunger for power that led Adam and Eve to go against God in the Garden of Eden. The serpent promised Eve God-Like powers which prompted them to go against the one who created them. They went against all that they knew and all that they were taught. Another example is Hilter who was so power-hungry he killed thousands of Jews and destroyed many of lives included his. It is this same desire for power that has led to many of the atrocities being committed in our very nation.
On the other hand, love is a wonderful feeling that makes people happy and puts them in a place of peace and laughter. A loveless life is not worth living regardless of the individual’s riches and wealth. It leaves a hole in the soul which cannot be filled by all the riches in the world. Have you ever wondered why some rich people who apparently have everything end up killing themselves either voluntarily or involuntarily? A classic example is the comedian Robin Williams who committed suicide a few years back. Robin had dedicated his life to making others laugh; he was a master of the craft and had perfected the said art. Yet he was unable to make himself happy. He had become so fed up with life and depressed that the only option left was for him to end it.
Based on the answers provided and examples witnessed in reality, it can be concluded that there is no definitive scenarios on when love is chosen over money and vice versa. Human beings feel both the need to be loved and the passion for money.
Many human beings have sold their souls for money, whilst others have sacrificed everything for the wonders of love. The trick is finding the right balance between both.
By Abisola Owokoniran